"Diana, will you set the table for me, please?" Margaret was preparing to drain the pot of boiled potatoes so that they could be mashed. A bowl of coleslaw sat on the counter, next to a platter of savory, seasoned boneless pork loin, "resting" in preparation for slicing. A small dish of black-eyed peas simmered in the microwave oven, along with the gravy for the potatoes. Margaret served the legumes in concession to the tradition passed down by her mother-in-law. Although she didn’t care for black-eyed peas, Ed liked them and according to Katherine Lynch, they were supposed to be eaten on New Year’s Day for good luck, along with the cabbage, which represented money. No matter what the state of the Lynches’ finances, they invariably ate pork, cabbage, and black-eyed peas for New Year’s. All of the staff had been given a day off for the holiday, and Margaret was enjoying cooking in the large, modern kitchen for the first time.
"Of course, Mummy." Diana was already taking plates and glasses from the cabinet.
"Larry help too!"
"Me too!" Diana’s brothers crowded close behind her, and Margaret could see her twin daughters toddling into the kitchen from the den, where they had been contentedly playing with blocks.
"Larry, Terry, you boys can help me! Carry this basket to the table." Diana handed a basket of forks, knives and spoons to her brother.
"I do it!" Terry was pouting because Larry insisted on holding both handles of the basket.
"You carry the salt and pepper, Terry. That’s an important job." Diana handed the shakers to Terry, who ran to overtake his brother and reach the family dining table faster.
Margaret smiled at her daughter. "You manage them so well, sweetie. You’re a big help."
Diana beamed at her mother’s compliment, and by the time Margie and Barbie reached her and pulled at her shirt to get her attention, she had another basket ready, with a stack of napkins inside. She was able to convince them to each take a handle, and the three girls walked sedately to the table, where Diana directed her siblings’ placement of napkins and cutlery, while she laid seven places at the table.
Ed Lynch carried the two highchairs from their storage place in the butler’s pantry, into the family dining room. Although the children ate most meals with their parents, Mrs. Carmichael had suggested that when Margaret went into the hospital, the little ones should be fed in their nursery. I guess that will be more convenient for someone... I just don’t know who, she thought.
"Well, Margie, you’ve outdone yourself again!" Ed stretched and loosened his belt after scraping the last bit of cherry crisp from his dessert plate. "Janet is a good cook, but she doesn’t hold a candle to you."
"Ed, I just know how to make plain, regular dishes. Janet knows a lot about cooking that I don’t." Margaret was pleased despite her protest.
"I guess I just like plain, regular food best, then." He grinned at her. "Anyway, it feels like we’re a plain, regular family today… and that’s fine by me."
"Hmmm. I think it’s time for some plain, regular kitchen cleanup now. This is the time when I miss having a staff here." Margaret smiled in return.
"You did most of the work of getting dinner ready. Diana and I will do the K.P. Right, princess?"
"Of course, Daddy. Mummy can rest in the den."
Margaret cleaned up the twins and took them into the den fora brief playtime before their naps. Diana and her father made short work of clearing the table and loading the spacious dishwasher, and wiping down the highchairs. Ed washed the remaining dishes and wiped down the counters and stove, while Diana swept the floors and put away the highchairs.
When the four little ones were down for their naps, Ed set the house intercom so that their parents could hear any sound they made. Then he, Margaret, and Diana relaxed in the den, turning the TV on to watch an old movie.
"Sitting here with my two best girls … our family healthy and well… yup, this is the life of my dreams." Ed sighed. "I hope this year ends as well as it has started."
"Me, too, Daddy." Diana cuddled in close to her dad.
"Me, too, darling." Margaret leaned her head against her husband’s shoulder and clasped his hand, which was resting on her own shoulder. "Me, too." She tried not to think about the trip she was taking tothe hospital for her surgery, scheduled in two days.
January 8, 1968
Pushing away the lunch tray of gelatin, soup, crackers, and tea – almost untouched - Margaret restlessly twisted and turned in her narrow bed at Sleepyside General Hospital. No matter which way she moved, her incision seemed to pull. If she raised the head of the bed, she slid down until her body was angled at the chest instead of at the hips. Although she was now able to wear her own gown instead of the ugly and gaping hospital gown,it still seemed to wad up in the most awkward places. She pressed the nurse call button.
"Yes, Mrs. Lynch?"
"I need to get up to the bathroom. Can you help me?" She hated asking for help with such personal activities, but it was hard to get up unassisted. Her bed bath this morning had been tiring, and she had walked twice in the hall before lunch time. Margaret yawned, surprised at the exhaustion she still felt, five days after her surgery.
"Of course." The pleasant nursing assistant tidied Margaret’s bed and refilled her water pitcher while she was in the bathroom. Then she arranged the flowers banking the windowsill, so that the newest and freshest were in front, and plucked out the wilted blooms. "A lady just called to ask if she could visit you today after lunch. I think her name was Wheeler. Miss Wheaton told her the visiting hour schedule, and she said she’d be here this afternoon."
"Mrs. Wheeler! My goodness, I never expected her to visit me here!" Margaret peered anxiously into the bathroom mirror. The harsh lighting made her look pale and wan, and her hair was limp and dull. "Marianna, you’ve got to help me get ready for her! Do you have time to wash my hair? And I think I have some makeup in my suitcase."
"Visiting hours don’t start until three-thirty, so we’ll have time."
By three-thirty, Margaret felt that she looked as presentable as could be expected. She wore the deep rose-colored gown and bedjacket that had been a Christmas gift from Ed, and if her hair was still slightly damp, at least it was glossy and neat. Another walk had brought some color to her face and dissipated some of the gas pain she still felt. She was seated in the large armchair between her bed and the window, reading get-wellcards from her children, when she heard a soft knock on the door.
"Come in," she responded. After the briefest of hesitations, the door opened and Madeleine Wheeler poked her elegant head into the room, found Margaret sitting up, and entered fully. She walked over to Margaret and leaned over to kiss the air next to her face.
"Mrs. Wheeler! I never expected you to visit me here," she said, managing not to stammer.
"Remember, my friends call me Maddie," Madeleine Wheeler admonished, in her soft voice. "I ran into Alice Rainsford and she told me you were going to have surgery after the first of the year, and that was the reason you and Ed didn’t attend the New Year’s gala for the Sloane Hospital foundation. I had a terrible time tracking you down!"
"Ed’s office could have given you the information. Or you could have called the house." Margaret was still puzzled by Maddie’s visit.
"I didn’t want the press to get hold of the news. No telling what the New York Post would have printed if they knew you were in the hospital and I was visiting you." Maddie was seated in the straight chair next to Margaret, but she was still huddled in a glorious blond mink coat. I wonder how she dresses when she wants the press to notice her,Margaret thought with an inner smile.
"I just wanted to see you and let you know someone is thinking of you. It’s horrible to have surgery... all the pain... and be cooped up in this place... the meals, ugh." Maddie’s eyes were shuttered and she pulled the coat more closely around her as she spoke.
"It sounds like you speak from experience." Margaret was more surprised and intrigued by the minute.
"I do. When my daughter was born... there were... complications. I had to have an emergency Caesarean section and then a hysterectomy. That ended my dream of having a big family. I was in the hospital for three weeks, and couldn’t see my daughter. That’s probably why we’ve never been...really...close."
"You dreamed of having a big family?" Margaret was dumbfounded. Everyone says Maddie never had more children because she didn’t want to ruin her figure.
"Yes. I can tell that surprises you." A fleeting smile crossed Maddie’s face. "I know what everyone thinks. But I’d rather they think that, than to pity me – and Matt – for not being able to have more children."
"I always wanted a big family, too. My husband has five brothers and sisters, and as a kid, I loved to spend time at their house. But when we married, it was two and a half years before I became pregnant. Then, so many years went by that I thought we’d never have more children. Let me tell you, it was a shock to have two sets of twins in just over two years. Not the way I planned it at all!" Margaret allowed herself a giggle at the way she had achieved her dream. "Of course, that’s why I had to have the hysterectomy. My doctor said two multiple pregnancies so close together caused my pelvic muscles to weaken, and my womb was...um, falling out."
"Do you feel sad that you won’t be able to have any more children?"
"Well … when the doctor first told me I needed to have the operation, I was a little sad. But you know, five children is a good-sized family. They weren’t spaced the way I would have liked, but I think I have enough now. I also had terrible "baby blues" after my last twins – I wouldn’t want to go through that again. I am sad when I think I will never hold a tiny baby to my breast again." Margaret was surprised to find a tear trickling from her eye, and dabbed it with a tissue.
"I was so ill that it was actually weeks before I learned Icouldn’t get pregnant again," Maddie explained. "By a miracle, the doctor was able to save my ovaries, so I didn’t go through immediate menopause. At the time, I didn’t care about that. I was just so upset about not being able to have more children. Later, though, I was glad I didn’t have to deal with hot flashes and mood swings when I was so sad."
"Maddie, have you and Matt ever considered adopting a child?"
"We talked about it when Honey... our daughter... was smaller. But Matt travels so much with his business, and he likes to have me with him. I always wanted him to have a son to succeed him, but we finally decided we didn’t spend enough time with our daughter. It wouldn’t be fair to add another child and divide the attention further."
"Where is your daughter? Does she travel with you? I know you want to shield her from publicity, but I’ve never seen a picture of her."
"No." Tears welled in Madeleine’s beautiful hazel eyes. "She attends a boarding school in Connecticut, Briar Hall. It’s a fine school,one of the best. We see her during holidays and usually for a week or so during summer vacation, before she goes to camp."
"How do you stand being separated from her so much of the time?" Margaret clapped a hand to her mouth after blurting out the question. I know I couldn’t bear to be away from my Diana that much.
However, Maddie didn’t seem insulted. She paused for a few seconds before answering, "It wouldn’t be right to drag a child all over the world. She’s always been delicate, and I don’t think she would tolerate the strains of travel. And besides... I don’t think Honey really likes spending time with us... with me. It’s like we’re strangers to each other, although she looks exactly like me." She pulled a dainty handkerchief from her purse and blotted the tears that spilled from her eyes.
"Maybe she feels like you are strangers because you don’t spend enough time together. She probably feels like she doesn’t know you." Margaret was thoughtful. "Maybe you could plan a vacation together instead of camp next summer. That would be a good chance to spend time with her... without the pressures of business and a schedule."
Maddie was quiet for a long time, her head bent and her shoulders quivering. She finally stood and walked over to the bathroom, where she used the crumpled, twisted hanky and a fingertip to blend her streaked makeup.
"Margaret, you’re the first person – besides my sister – who has told me I should spend more time with my child instead of less. The way we’ve raised our daughter is the way I was raised and the way everyone I know has raised their children. But it’s not working for Honey, or for us. I’ll talk to Matt about your suggestion. Maybe it could help us."
"I just know that I hope nothing ever comes between my Diana and me. It’s not that she’s my favorite child; I love each one of them dearly! But for so long she was the only one, and we spent so much time together. I treasure those memories and hope I’ll have many more."
"Margaret, I really must go now. I have to be back in the city to meet Matt for dinner tonight, and I’ll have to go home and re-do my face now." Maddie gave Margaret a watery smile, and embraced her rather more warmly than she had done on her arrival. "Thank you for our talk. I’ll let you know what happens."
"You’re welcome. And maybe you could bring Honey to visit Diana during spring break. We’d be more than happy to have you."
"I’d like that. We’ll have to see how the school schedule works out." With a final wave, Maddie was gone. Margaret inhaled the subtle scent of her perfume, which she hadn’t even noticed while Maddie was in the room.
January 11, 1968
"Margaret’s doing very well, and she is scheduled to be released in three more days… I haven’t really discussed it with her, but she wouldn’t want me to miss a chance to attend the stockholders’ meeting... That’s why we have a competent staff, so I can leave without worrying about her and the kids... All right, Gus. I agree, it’s a great opportunity, and I do want to get in on the ground floor. Go ahead and book me a ticket. I’ll take care of everything here."
Ed Lynch replaced the telephone’s receiver back into its cradle and drummed his fingers on the top of his new walnut desk. After a moment he rose and walked over to the intercom console on the wall, and pressed the button that connected to Harrison’s quarters. "Harrison? I’d like to see you in my office for a moment, please."
If Harrison thought it was odd to be summoned by hisemployer at nine-thirty in the evening, he concealed it well. "Certainly, Mr.Lynch. I shall be there directly."
When Harrison arrived, Ed was ready for him. "Harrison, I’m leaving on a business trip with Guthrie Brown, my accountant, on Monday. We’ll be away for perhaps two weeks. As you know, Mrs. Lynch is to be released from the hospital Sunday. I’ll need your help, and the help of the rest of the staff, to make sure the house runs smoothly while I’m gone. Mrs. Lynch isn’t to climb any stairs, she mustn’t over-exert herself, and she’ll need to get plenty of rest. Please have Mrs. Carmichael set up the guest suite downstairs for her to use during her convalescence. Don’t allow the children to be in her room day and night, either."
"As you wish, sir. I will take care of it." Harrison spoke as if the matter was settled. "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"No, no, that’s everything."
Harrison informed Mrs. Carmichael of the new orders; the housekeeper gave orders to the maids and the nurses; Jack Hayden, the chauffeur, was instructed to transport Diana back and forth from school and other activities during Mr. Lynch’s absence. The whole staff understood that Mrs. Lynch was to recover in a quiet, peaceful atmosphere, and was not to be disturbed by the children’s noise.
January 14, 1968
"Margie, I asked Mrs. Carmichael to get the downstairs guest suite ready for you. Dr. Tremaine said you were not to climb any stairs for six weeks, and the suite has its own bath. Besides that, it’s far enough from the living areas that you shouldn’t be bothered with the children’s noise and will be able to rest." Ed hoped Margaret wouldn’t object to being so far from the children. After all, that was the whole reason we hired nurses to care for the twins, as well as the rest of the staff – so that Margie can rest and regain her strength. I haven’t forgotten how long it took her to recover from her C-section. That was all due to overdoing herself. Now, there’s no need for that.
They were traveling along Glen Road, returning home after Margaret’s discharge from the hospital.
As he had expected, she protested, "Ed, I haven’t been able to see my babies – any of them – for two weeks! I don’t think I want to be so far from them."
"Darling, they can come to the suite and see you. And you can come to the den or dining room, of course. But I think if they are with you, you’ll be tempted to pick them up. You’re not supposed to be lifting anything, either."
"Oh, Eddie! It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’ve done. But I hope I won’t be a stranger to my kids. The saddest thing Maddie Wheeler said to me on the day she visited was that she and her daughter hardly know each other. I don’t want to have that happen to us." Margaret felt sad again, just thinking about it.
"I know you don’t. Neither do I. But I need to leave for Dallas tomorrow, and I’ll be gone for a couple of weeks. I don’t want to worry about you overdoing it while I’m gone."
"I know you're going to the Texas Instruments stockholders’ meeting. Where else are you going?"
"I’ve been asked to invest in some land in Virginia, near Williamsburg – there’s talk that a big new amusement park may be developed there – and I’m going to visit the site. After that, I’m making a couple of side trips to check out some property nearby. There’s a piece where Matt Wheeler and I intend to build a hotel if the amusement park is located where we think it will be, and a historic home that is being offered at a below-market price. It needs work, but it would be all mine – all ours. It could be a vacation place for us, and we could rent it for a bed-and-breakfast, or host tours after it’s restored. While I’m in Virginia, I’ll make a quick visit to Mom and Dad. I’m hoping they can visit us here next summer. It’s too much to take five little ones that far, and I’ll pay for their plane tickets if they don’t want to drive."
"Ugh! Flying – I’ve never understood how Charlotte and Caroline love it so. It makes me sick to think of being up so far." Margaret shuddered.
"You don’t even feel like you’re moving, Margie! And you don’t have to look out the window unless you want to. Of course, I’ve never flown until the past few months." Ed smiled at his wife. "I’ll get you on aplane yet – we need to take a second honeymoon!"
"Hmmmmm, since we never took a first honeymoon, that would be a trick! Ed, what about your class? Won’t it be a problem to miss two weeks of the last class before you graduate with your bachelor’s degree?"
"I talked to my instructor, and obtained permission to miss the two weeks of class. They’re letting me do the required reading on my own and write papers on the material. It’s going to be tough to squeeze in the time to study. But I have to do it. I’m so ready for this to be over that I can hardly stand it."
"Goodness, here we are – already!" Margaret couldn’t believe they were already turning in to the long driveway leading up to their home.
I can’t believe how tired I still am! The nurses told meI would feel that way for a few more weeks, but I didn’t believe it. I was so full of energy this morning. Margaret had visited with her children and eaten a light lunch with Ed. Now she could hardly cover her yawns.
"Margie-girl, why don’t you lie down and rest for awhile? I’ve talked to Harrison and Mrs. Carmichael about running the household; and discussed the twins’ routine with Miss Kelley and Mrs. Carter. They will bring the kids in to see you after their naps, if you’re awake, but they know you aren’t to pick them up. And I’ve arranged for Jack to take Diana to school and pick her up when I go out of town."
"Ed, it sounds like you’ve taken care of everything. I am tired – more tired than I thought I’d be." Margaret was glad to climb into bed, and in a few minutes, she was asleep.
She slept through Ed’s and the children’s dinner, only awakening after the nurses had taken their charges to the nursery suite for their baths. In the morning, Ed and Diana came to kiss her goodbye before being driven to the airport and school. In silence, the activities of the household went on while she breakfasted in her room, took a sponge bath, and napped. Muriel had come to clean her room while she was bathing, and Margaret had asked her to return later. Mrs. Carmichael herself brought a tray to the suite for lunch, and informed her that since she was sleeping when the nurses brought the twins earlier, she had told them to stay in the nursery quarters unless summoned.
"Could you summon them now? I’ve missed my babies so much,and I’d like to see them." She felt such a longing for the little ones that she could hardly keep herself from rushing out of the suite. Only the knowledge that the nursery was at the top of a forbidden flight of stairs kept her from doing so.
"Mrs. Lynch, Miss Kelley notified me twenty minutes ago that the children have gone down for their naps. Do you wish for me to have them awakened?" Mrs. Carmichael looked disapproving.
"Oh… of course not. But please, ask Miss Kelley to bring them down as soon as they are up." Margaret felt discouraged. "And please,ask Diana to come in when she gets home from school."
"Miss Diana has an art lesson today, and won’t be back until five-thirty this evening. I will pass along the message when she arrives."
Margaret spent fifteen minutes walking in the house before she was overcome by fatigue. When Miss Kelley brought the children to her, she was asleep again, and they were being fed in the nursery when she asked for them again.
"Can you ask the nurses to bring them down when they finish eating? I’d like to see them before they go to bed. And where is my Diana? I expected her long ago."
"Miss Diana went straight to your room when she arrived home from her art class, but you were asleep," Mrs. Carmichael informed her. "So she had her supper and then went upstairs to do homework."
Margaret was stricken. Diana had to eat alone in the"family" dining room! I’ll have to leave strict instructions that she is to eat with me. "Please, Mrs. Carmichael, I’d like to have Diana eat supper with me, even if the twins eat earlier. Perhaps next week, we can all eat together again. I’m sure I’ll have more energy by then."
"Very well, ma’am. However, Mr. Lynch was quite firm in his instructions that you were to have rest and quiet."
"He is so thoughtful! Of course, you must follow his orders, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that Diana should have to eat her meals alone."
"Yes, ma’am. Will there be anything else, ma’am?" Mrs. Carmichael appeared unruffled as always.
"Ah … no. I think that’s everything. Oh – I know! What about the marketing for this week … and the menus?"
"Everything is taken care of, ma’am. Janet and I made out the menus for the week and drew up a shopping list. We called in the order to the supermarket and ordered the groceries delivered."
"Oh, that’s good." It’s so strange to think that they did all of that without even consulting me… like I’m not even needed.
January 28, 1968
Two weeks after her return home, Margaret felt even more unnecessary in her own home. The house ran smoothly without her input,according to the routines devised by Harrison and Mrs. Carmichael. The twins spent most of their time in the nursery suite, far enough away from the main living areas that Margaret rarely heard their noise. True, they ate lunch with her, and she saw them for an hour or so each day after their naps. But they ate breakfast and supper in the nursery. Diana was busy nearly every day after school with art, piano, or dance classes, and had art projects, piano or dance practice to do at home. Although she ate supper with her mother, she always seemed in a hurry to go up to her room and start on homework.
We’ve always been so close! What can be the problem? I’ve tried to get Diana to talk to me, but she just says everything is fine – I know it’s not! She insists that she likes her room – Christine made a mistake and decorated it like the guest suite. There’s no way a child her age can like those gold silk drapes and bedspread. I wish Kay hadn’t taken that new assignment right now!
Kay Lynch had included a note in her Christmas card, saying that she would have to postpone the visit scheduled for late January.
"DearEddie, Margie, and kids,
Ihope you all are getting used to your new house and not rattling around! There should be some good sledding at the top of that hill. I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to take a rain check on my visit. A wealthy older woman who is spending the winter months on the French Riviera needs a nurse-companion, since she has had a fall and broken her wrist. All of my expenses will be paid, and I’m to have four hours off each day, to sightsee as I please. My patient’s name is Catherine Hart. She seems very particular, Margie, but I think we’ll beable to get along. After all, how likely is it that I’ll ever be able to spend the winter on the French Riviera? I can put up with a lot for the chance to do that just once. If it’s convenient, I’d love to visit when I return in March.
Love,Kay"
Margaret sighed. Even Ed seemed distant to her just now. Since their wedding, she had never gone for a whole day without speaking to him. He had called her daily during the two trips out of town he had made since September – and those were both two-day trips. He’s called me daily this time too – I know he has! But with the time difference, and his schedule... and I’ve been asleep a couple of times... I can’t wait until he’s back tonight! It seems almost like we’re strangers. Sometimes I wish we were back in our old apartment. It was crowded, but we were all together... and we were happy. I never thought the life of our dreams would feel so... lonely.
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Author's Notes follow...
