11.  Baby's First Christmas

December 13, 1956

As the Christmas season approached, Maddie continued to feel sad and tired. Although she usually enjoyed Christmas shopping, this year was different. It seemed like just another task to complete. She was trying to get into the spirit as she had the previous year, when she had planned and catered Matt's office Christmas party for the first time. I was so excited about that party last year, she thought. To think, that was even before I knew I was pregnant! It was the first big gathering I ever planned. This year I just called the same caterer and told them to do the same thing; I just had Matt's secretary, Dorothy, circulate a memo about the date, time and location of the party.

Today she had left Honey with her nurse at the apartment in order to begin shopping for her Christmas gifts. As much as I dislike having to rely on someone else to care for my child, I'm really lucky to have Mrs. Carter. How could I go shopping or attend charity functions without someone reliable to be with my baby? she mused.

Maddie pulled the shopping list from her pocket as she neared Macy's department store. "Hmmm, I should be able to find almost everything here," she said aloud, stopping suddenly on the wet sidewalk.

"Hey, lady, watch where you're going!" A shabbily dressed man bumped roughly into Maddie and she nearly lost her footing. Fortunately, the Macy's security guard was only an arm's length away and kept her from falling.

"Watch it, buddy!" he called after the rapidly disappearing stranger.

"I'm all right," Maddie hastened to assure him. "I wasn't really paying attention. Thank you for keeping me from falling." She gave herself a mental shake. Wake up, Maddie! Think about what you're doing! she told herself sternly. It's a good thing the guard was paying attention!

With a sweet smile for him, she steeled herself for the crowd, and walked briskly on into the huge department store. Christmas Muzak surrounded her, and the corners of her mouth lifted in another smile. Just last week I was annoyed by the Christmas music playing everywhere!

Her first stop was the bookstore on the lowest level, where she chose books for each person on her list. For Matt it would be Gideon's Week, by John Marric. The highly praised mystery was written under a pseudonym for John Creasey. Dirk was a James Bond fan; Maddie was sure he would enjoy Diamonds Are Forever. For her mother – Peyton Place? Or would she enjoy The Last of the Wine, by Mary Renault? Natalie planned to travel with Dirk when Ben was old enough for school; perhaps she would like Coast to Coast, by a Welsh essayist about her American travels. Her eyes lingered on The One Hundred and One Dalmatians, by Dodie Smith. I'm not here to buy presents for myself, she lectured herself sternly.

A saleslady appeared in front of Maddie and asked, "Is there anything I can help you with, madam?"

"Oh, yes! I'm looking for a picture book for my nephew. He's two years old. What would you suggest?"

"What about Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel? Or The Little Engine That Could? Or, Curious George – little boys really like him. We also have Babar the Elephant, and Make Way For Ducklings."

Maddie frowned. This might be harder than she had expected – there were so many choices. "I think he already has all of those," she replied.

"Hmmm, here's a new one. It's called Kenny's Window, by Maurice Sendak. It might be a little old for a two-year-old, but Sendak is a fabulous illustrator and children really relate to his books. He's going to be a major children's author some day."

Maddie skimmed through the book and was entranced by the story of Kenny, whose window becomes a magic portal as he strives to answer seven questions posed to him in a dream. The fantastical illustrations would appeal to Ben as well, she thought.

"I'll take it. Thanks for your help," she told the saleslady. "I just need one more book," she added.

"I'm looking for a good, basic cookbook. Our cook has been looking for a new recipe for pumpkin bread."

"I think The Joy of Cooking is just what you want. It has a wonderful mix of plain and fancier dishes, as well as explanations of cooking techniques and kitchen essentials. I've made the pumpkin bread myself. It's excellent."

"That sounds like just what I want. Can I have them boxed and delivered to my home?"

"Yes, madam. That can be arranged. Just let the cashier know and he will take care of it for you."

After pointing Maddie in the direction of the cash register, the saleslady turned to help another customer. Maddie could hear her saying, "Nancy Drew? Yes, we have every book in the series right over here. Yes, we do carry Cherry Ames as well – she's just on the shelf above."

After paying for her books and deciding to take Kenny's Window with her, Maddie made her way to the infants' and children's clothing department. There she found a black velveteen dress with a white lace collar and a red ribbon rosette, white tights and black patent leather shoes for Honey's Christmas outfit. She bought two outfits, just in case one became soiled.

Moving from one department to another, she purchased new Chanel handbags for her mother and sister, and buttery soft leather gloves for Matt and Dirk. For Matt she also selected a beautiful cashmere muffler and gold cufflinks. She arranged delivery of a rocking horse for Ben, and for Honey, she chose a bright ball and several educational toys designed for infants.

Matt's secretary would receive a generous bonus, and the Wheelers gave cash bonuses to their staff, so Maddie's shopping was virtually done. She left the store feeling more cheerful than she had in some time.

***********************

Matt wiped a smudge of lipstick from his cheek after an enthusiastic welcome home kiss from his wife the evening of the shopping trip. "You're looking happy today," he commented.

"Matt, I'm beginning to get into the Christmas spirit," Maddie told her husband. "It seems like Christmas music has been playing in the stores since daylight savings time ended, but today I enjoyed it. I found nearly all of the gifts on my list, as well as the cookbook that Cook has been wanting. Look at the picture book I found for Ben!" She took the picture book to him. "Look at the illustrations! This Maurice Sendak will be a very famous author-illustrator some day, just watch!"

Matt looked at the book. "It does look exciting," he commented. "But don't you think Ben's a little young for this? Now, if it was a book about Where the Wild Things Are, it would suit Ben to a T." He grinned at his wife. She had not been this animated in a long time.

"I don't like to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving," he went on to say. "They seem to start playing it in the elevators of my building before Halloween. But I'm definitely ready for it now. Speaking of Christmas music, I bought the new White Christmas album by Bing Crosby today. If you're really in the mood for Christmas music, we can listen to it tonight."

"I'd love it!" Maddie responded. "I'm going to work on Honey's baby book tonight, too. I have some new pictures for the scrapbook pages."

The couple listened to Bing Crosby's Christmas ballads, and talked about their favorite Christmas memories as Maddie worked on the baby book and Matt skimmed through the latest issue of TIME Magazine.

"I'll never forget skating at Rockefeller Center last year," Maddie told her husband. It was just magical. Even though it was crowded, I felt like we were alone in an enchanted fairyland. The air was so clear, and I thought I could actually see some stars."

***********************

December 23, 1956

"Matt, I'm going to play some different Christmas music now," Maddie announced. She stood at the large console stereo, considering albums with songs sung by Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, and Perry Como.

"This is the one I want!" she exclaimed, picking up the new album, "Perry Como Sings Merry Christmas Music". She slid the 12-inch black disc out of its cardboard sleeve, set it on the turntable's spindle, and turned on the record player. The record plopped softly onto the turntable, and the needle arm hovered over it for a second before settling onto the grooves. As the first strains of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" wafted from the speakers, Maddie sighed happily and danced over to the picture window, where her husband stood, enjoying the sight and scent of the freshly decorated Christmas tree.

Matt held his five-month old daughter in his arms. Honey stared at the bright colored lights on the tree, sucking on her chubby fist. She seemed mesmerized by the multicolored bulbs and flickering silver icicles. Maddie made a face at her daughter and was elated when Honey removed her fist from her mouth and opened it in a toothless grin as she waved her hands and wriggled in her father's arms. As the music continued, Honey began to coo and babble. Maddie took her and sang along with Perry Como as her favorite song, "Winter Wonderland" played.

"Sleighbells ring, are you listening?
In the lane, snow is glistening!
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight,
Walking in a Winter Wonderland!"

Honey began to rub her hands over her ears, and fussed as she often did when she was hungry. Matt went to the kitchen to get a bottle, while Maddie settled herself and her daughter in the comfortable armchair.

Honey took her bottle eagerly, as usual, but she kept interrupting her feeding to pull at her left ear.

"Look, Matt, she's discovered her ears!" Maddie was proud of her daughter's intelligence. Just the previous night Honey had captured her own foot and brought it to her mouth.

"Yes, our daughter is precocious," Matt agreed, a wide smile on his face.

After the feeding was completed, Maddie took Honey back to the nursery, where Mrs. Carter had her nightgown and a fresh diaper ready. She surrendered her baby to the nurse with a slight pang of regret, but rejoined Matt in the spacious living room feeling happier than she had felt for several months.

"I think this Christmas will always be special for me," said Matt. "Just the three of us here together! Not that I don't like your family, darling," he hastened to add. "It's just that traveling to Boston at this time of year is no picnic. I hope you're not disappointed, but I'm a little relieved that the snowstorm canceled our travel plans."

"No, I'm not disappointed," Maddie replied. "I don't really enjoy being pulled between Mother and Natalie. No matter what I do, especially with our child, I can't please them both."

She gestured to the pile of presents under the tree. "I've had the gifts for Mother, Natalie, Dirk, and Ben wrapped for a week, and just today I realized I had mislabeled someone's gift. I had to unwrap nearly all of them before I discovered which one was wrong! Now, since we won't be able to travel tomorrow, it doesn't matter nearly so much." She giggled at the memory of Ben's picture book being labeled "to Mother, from Matt and Maddie."

"Cook is going to prepare our Christmas dinner early Christmas day, then once it is served, I gave her and Irene leave to do whatever they wanted to for the rest of the day. I've given Mrs. Carter leave to visit her mother as well. We will be able to put away the food and load the dishwasher; then we can have a cold supper if we're hungry later."

"That sounds like a good plan," Matt said. "I hope they will be able to spend some time with their families. This weather has changed a lot of people's plans."

The two of them were soon ready to turn off the lights and go to bed. Maddie fell asleep quickly for once, but an hour or so later she was awakened by the sound of a baby's cry. Sitting up in bed, she took a moment to gather her thoughts and realized it was her own child who was crying. Taking a moment to pull on her robe and slippers, she went to the nursery, where she found Mrs. Carter already up and tending to Honey.

"What do you think is the matter with her, Mrs. Carter?" Maddie asked. "Honey doesn't usually cry like this during the night."

"I think she has an earache. You see how she's pulling at that left ear? Besides that, she has a fever."

Maddie touched her daughter's skin. "She's burning up! What can we do?"

"I have some sweet oil drops to put in her ear. That is soothing. I'm going to give her an aspirin suppository. Then I will give her an alcohol rub to bring the temperature down. I hope you will be able to reach her doctor tomorrow. Since it's Christmas Eve, he'll probably close the office early."

"Oh, yes! I'll call the office the first thing in the morning." Maddie was frightened. Honey had never been sick before, and now she was burning with fever, crying, her nose was running, and she was rubbing both hands over her face. She picked up her daughter while Mrs. Carter went to get the suppository and the rubbing alcohol, and tried to comfort her. However, Honey's miserable wails continued in spite of her mother's ministrations. Maddie felt guilty for missing the signs of illness. To think I thought Honey was merely discovering her ear!

Once more, she felt incompetent as Mrs. Carter took Honey from her and placed several drops of sweet oil in each ear, popped a suppository into her bottom, and then stripped the baby and rubbed her back with rubbing alcohol. After fifteen minutes or so had passed, Honey's cries had subsided and she drank some water from her bottle. Maddie stayed and watched as the experienced older woman ministered to her child, then finally went back to bed since it appeared she wasn't needed.

December 24, 1956

Indeed, the Wheelers' pediatrician's office was open for only half of the day on Christmas Eve. Fortunately, Maddie was able to get an appointment, and she accompanied Mrs. Carter when the car service arrived to transport them to the doctor's office. Honey continued to fuss each time she was laid flat, and turned her face away from the bottle after taking a few sucks. Only Mrs. Carter could comfort her enough to get her to sleep. Maddie nearly cried when the doctor gave Honey an injection of penicillin in her thigh, and the baby's piercing shrieks did not abate until finally her voice gave out on the trip home.

"Matt, I'm the most incompetent mother in the world," she sobbed to her husband. "I never dreamed she was sick. Why didn't I know there was something wrong with her?"

"How could you have known?" Matt was practical. Honey's crying disturbed him as much as it did Maddie, but he didn't see it as a failure on his part. "We're lucky to have such a good nurse."

Maddie shuddered as she made the effort to stop crying. "I just feel so stupid. I've never been so slow at learning things. I studied Dr. Spock until I nearly had his book memorized. Yet, I can't seem to do anything right with my baby!"

 

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