Chapter Twelve ~ Pack-Rat Condominium

as told to macjest by the Pack Rat

I’ve been observing my new neighbors for several days now. The silly two-legged animals are the oddest creatures I’ve ever run across. Heck, they don’t even know how to build a proper house. Don’t they realize those flimsy shacks of theirs don’t hide or protect them from the other animals here in the forest?

My house is far more practical. As soon as I spot one of those big, fat, furry animals, I make a run for it and hide in one of the lower levels of my house with the rest of my family. Even if my house gets pawed by that big animal, we’re safe down below.

I don’t know if that animal likes to eat one of my kind, but I’m not willing to hang around and find out. At least they don’t make a whole lot of noise. Not like this batch of two legs who just moved in.

Take that one with the long, dark fur. It looks kind of nice, but its voice makes my teeth itch. It’s always making these weird high-pitched sounds. No wonder most of the other animals have left the neighborhood.

Say, maybe if I leave it a gift, it will shut up! It works with the other animals. Although, I left one gift already and it didn’t work. I’ll try with another gift. Maybe it didn’t like the first one.

Well, how do you like that? I tried again. I went over in the dark and went inside their house. That noisy two leg made even more noise! And the other two leg shined a light at me!

Some gratitude.

I took off for home as fast as my four little legs would carry me. I don’t know what else to give them. I need to think of something because now all of the two legs are awake and making so much noise it might wake up other animals – the kind that don’t make noise and prefer to attack instead. The two legs might even wake up my kids. My mate will never let me hear the end of that.

It is partially my fault. Just now, I got so scared when it shined the light on me. That’s never happened before, so I thumped my tail as loud as I could to warn my family. I wasn’t sure if we’d need to leave for our other house.

You can never have too many houses. Especially with all the two legs coming around. They leave so many pretty things around. And they look so nice in my house. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t steal. I do have some standards, which is more than you can say for those nasty crows. I always trade, fair and square.

Like the gift I left tonight. I was trying to trade with that smelly two leg just down the way from this group. Phew, he must not be real bright if he doesn’t know not to step in the stinky leaves. Even my littlest kids know not to use them when building a house.

He didn’t even want to trade. I don’t know if I can handle being around these two legs for much longer. That one threw rocks at me!

After I got home, me and my family managed to get some sleep. The two legs finally shut up and they didn’t make any more noise for a good long time.

All of a sudden, I heard the sound of that high pitched two leg. It sounded like it was nearby and getting louder. Then it went away again. I wish it would make up its mind. I’m still trying to get caught up on my sleep.

What the heck? What’s happening? The house is shaking. I’ve felt ground shakes before but nothing like this. My mate looked at me and the whites of her eyes were showing.

Oh, no! My poor house. It lost its top!

Are you kidding me? It’s those noisy two legs. That’s some gratitude all right. I give them gifts and they tear my house apart.

“Come on everyone, let’s go to our other house.”

“What about all of our pretties, especially the new ones you just found?” Trust my mate to worry about unimportant stuff. Pretties can be replaced. Family can’t.

“Let the two legs have it!” I yelled. “We can always get more. Let’s go!”

All of us ran as fast as we could, even the littles.

I was kind of sorry to leave behind my newest pretty. It was like looking at yourself in the water except you saw the two legs instead.

Maybe the other two legs down the way won’t be smelly anymore and will be willing to trade. Just as long as they don’t throw rocks again.

Don’t they know how hard it is to get the dirt from rocks out of fur?

Nah, I think me and my family will lay low for a while in our other house.

Two legs are too weird.